Monday, July 23, 2018

What are we really doing with this dance/arts/life thing?

So here we are. My friends have probably heard me say this more than once. I am too self-aware for my own good. Literally. My brain works too fast and every possible avenue immediately brings to mind every possible repercussion. In theory, this is a good thing. I have a knack for analyzing. Breaking things down into categories. And by things I mean EVERYTHING. I find connections between events. I trace lineages. I invert. I retrograde. But all this information that inundates my nogen everyday also leads to paralysis. When you're so self-aware and reflective that you're afraid to try things because of what might happen or what it might implicate. I also say that people who aren't quite so perceptive have a better time at life. What a joy it must be to not think so deeply about everything! But alas, I'll never know what that's like.

So HERE we are. As we speak I just finished my 1st (2 week) intensive of 6, for the Masters of Arts in Curatorial Practice in Performance program. What is that you ask? Well, its the theoretical underbelly of the act of working with artists and their ideas, and presenting live performance. We spend a lot of time with performance theory and history, analysing site-specific projects, looking at relationship building to research to execution,  and teasing out our own curatorial interests. I've gone through extreme emotional shifts: enthusiasm to dejection, inspiration to demotivation, stimulation to saturation.

Here we are. The latest question I have is who can afford curation? It seems like this thing requires a lot of time. A lot of investment. A lot of effort. Those that know me, know that I am not afraid of work. I work best when I can go IN. Immerse myself in a project and come out triumphant. But do I have that luxury? Do we (my community of folks that I believe in and support, more specifically Caribbean Artists and Artists of Color in this hemisphere) have that luxury? Now if the question is do we deserve to be curated? To be engaged on a critical level. To be taken seriously for what we have to offer to society. The answer is YES. Does that happen? NO. Caribbean work most times just gets thrown on stage. Yea did you picture Uncle Carl throwing Jazzy Jeff out of his Bel-Air Mansion? Good. Because that's how it feels when you get a random email from someone who's barely heard of you asking you to perform somewhere for an honorarium or for free with no consideration or research of you or your work or what your work requires to be done well.

We are. Am I guilty of doing this too? Or of expecting it? Yes sure. Because capitalism is a real thing (why are these people sending me five million email for this one 30 mins gig) and when you get used to being mistreated you just come to expect it (hey do you want to schedule a call about this? no because it won't change anything because you won't actually be able to change anything about the context of the engagement) and even perpetuating the paradigm (hey can you do this thing here's all the info in detail [while praying they don't have too many questions cause I'm tired and don't feel like dealing with anymore humans]). But what has become abundantly clear to me now is that I do not wish to participate in gigs where my value is not understood. And that can be two things. Either understood artistically, and you engage with me on a colleague to colleague level understanding and caring for what I bring to the table even if the dollars ain't there OR understood financially: pay me enough to prepare for and execute this project. You cannot disrespect me and not pay me. Choose one.

Are? The thing that I crave the most is to be able to have meaningful conversations about my work. And therefore I built an organisation with a team of awesome folks that would intentionally make space for that. But is it sustainable? Can our networks sustain time and space for critical reflection when we got kids to send to school, parents and siblings to take care of, rent to pay? I'm asking. So maybe this curation thing is like dessert. You have it on your birthday and Christmas and the rest of time you do without. OK. That's all I have time for today. Friends and Well-wishers as you were.


Candace Thompson-Zachery of OverThinkersAnonymous

Explore all the things I do at:
candacedancefitness.com
dancecaribbeancollective.com
2017.newtraditionsfestival.com

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